Let's be honest, no one is working together in a relationship. It's a quiet battle that takes place daily. I know you look at each other lovingly and smooch goodbyes, but that just masks the underlying competition. And the 'winner' of this should be men on sportsmanship alone. I say should because it will never happen and the reason is...women are evil.
I know this to be true because I am witness to it constantly. Oh sure, some men are evil. Hitler, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein, Glenn Beck, all these men, are or were evil it's true, but they were evil on a global level. What I'm talking about is an insidious domestic evil lurking within your own home. A nemesis sleeping next to you, rooting for your downfall.
I don't find happiness in my wife's pain, but she clearly does in mine. If she is ever melancholy all I need do is seriously injure myself and she'll perk right up. I would never in a million years, wish ill on her.
Let's say for instance she was in the garage, working on her motorcycle and sheered a large portion of her knuckle off while trying to loosen a frozen bolt. I wouldn't think that's funny. She does. Or, if we were at an eating establishment and she ordered two pounds of spicy buffalo wings and jalapeno poppers and washed them down with a bowl of whiskey and she suffered a slight bout of indigestion, this would not bring a smile to my face because I am not evil. If she were to buy 'colon cleansing' products off the internet and have a near death experience on the can that lasted two days, I would comfort her, not torment. Again, I am not evil.
Yes, men may not be the sharpest knives in the place where you keep the knives, but at least we are not evil.
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